Mad at Cancer.

I usually try to make the best of any situation. Things get rough but there is always a positive when you look hard enough.

Yesterday it was very hard to find it.

It was a great sunny January Saturday all three girls had the most exciting job of being flower girls for my brother and my new sister-in-law (yey I got a sister!!!) Iza, Mimi and Magi DID walk down the very long aisle. So all that was happy. But I know that Mimi used every ounce of her energy for this because she pretty much slept through the rest of the beautiful ceremony. We did get the okay from Mimi's clinic to take her to the reception as long as she was feeling up to it, had a mask and lots of hand washing. She wanted to dance and party so badly. Poor thing she was so tired that she ran out on the dance floor once and then just stayed in my arms for the remainder of the night.

So I was mad because I wanted more than anything for her to be running and being wild just like her sisters, I know she wanted that too, she was so weak and sad it was breaking my heart to watch her. I wished I could just swap and take her pain if she just got to be a crazy monkey on the dance floor. She asked to go home but first she wanted to taste the cake, when the cake came she fell asleep and did not get to taste it. No worries, the speedy server got a to-go container of the yummy cake. Since Iza was having a blast we left her there to spend the night at the hotel with my parents.

I cried all the way home. Mad. Upset. That my five year old is having her childhood disturbed by this monster. That her hair is falling out even though I knew very well it would happen. She is mad that her eggies have hair in them.

Iza was such a sweetheart she gathered things at the hotel as gifts for Mimi to make her feel better. Things such as a water bottle, red twizzlers, hotel chocolates, popcorn, and all the flowers left over in the hotel rooms.

Today I woke up still mad but got over it quickly when Mimi woke up, smiled and asked if I can make a "lasagna like Garfield" for lunch and/or dinner. I can't stay mad it won't solve anything. So I am better now and off to make a Lasagna!